I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
