Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
