Your face is a jimmy john
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
