okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
