my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize