Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
