Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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