you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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