Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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