He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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