he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
