we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
