I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
