3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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