They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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