i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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