He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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