Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
