New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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