Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
