Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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