This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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