I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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