I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
