wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
