jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize