We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it because I queefed?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
