Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
