Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
