So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
