Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
