dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
