I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize