then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
