I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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