Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
