oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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