I'm gonna have a badass scar
love makes seman taste better
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
