Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
