My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
