The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just found puke in my bra..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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