I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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