My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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