do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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