And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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