started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
