google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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