Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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