ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
