Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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