so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
