My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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