I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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