He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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