if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
