We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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