This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
