Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
