am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
