You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
no, he came in my armpit
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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